The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
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