Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
