doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
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