? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
Randomize
