Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Randomize
