cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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