There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
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