i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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