I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
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