We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
Randomize
