My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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