I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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