I'm in a cab, in a strange city, and my driver looks like he's going to eat me. My facebook password is **** I want you to have the one thing I hold dearest to my heart.
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
