Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
Randomize
