he looks like a really good dad on facebook
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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