I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
You left your underwear on the fireplace
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
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