so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Randomize
