Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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