the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
Pi�atas plus fireworks don't mix well
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
