yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Randomize
