Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
