You work out of a Hotel?
K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
