Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
nutella sex= disaster
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize
