my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Randomize
