Your face is a jimmy john
when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
