I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
i need some magic done to my vagina
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