I think i sorta joined a cult last night
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
Randomize
