worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
