I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
Randomize
