Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
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