HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
