Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
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