I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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