morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
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