Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
