Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
i need some magic done to my vagina
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
Randomize
