hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
Randomize
