You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Randomize
