My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Randomize