I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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