Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
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