Pappa wants mamma naked
Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
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