Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Randomize
