i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
