I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
Randomize
