I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
Randomize
