So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
