He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
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