there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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