What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize
