no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
