And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Randomize
