Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
Randomize
